Human connection is more important now than ever.
In the era of ever advancing technology we are becoming more connected in one aspect but far more disconnected in another.
We have access to the latest information in seconds, can shop online, pay bills, and ‘meet’ like minded people online.
Sounds amazing doesn’t it? But I don’t think we are any happier or healthier as a result of this, in fact I think our wellbeing has suffered along the way.
The world of social media, for example, often shows people portraying ‘perfect’ lives with amazing relationships, exciting holidays and flawless bodies. This can leave us feeling like some people can just ‘do it all’ effortlessly while we are trying to juggle our work/life balance are struggling to just keep all the balls in the air.
It’s a recipe for unhappiness.
If you can balance this up with having a close friendships with people who share the crappy moments of their lives with you, then you can regain a better sense of reality but, for those of us who lack these types of friendships or community support, you can be left feeling inadequate and alone.
Science has shown a response in women called the ‘tend and befriend’ system. When they spend time with their families or children or friends they feel connected to, it stimulates the release of a hormone called oxytocin.
Oxytocin inhibits the release of stress hormones and helps to calm the central nervous system. To put it another way, science shows that spending time with people in your community or ‘tribe’ can increase resilience and sooth your nervous system. Sounds good to me!
A study of 13600 adults in Sweden showed that those who had few or no good friends had a 50% higher risk of having a heart attack than those with social support. ‘Friendly’ type had lower stress levels, lower blood pressure and a lower risk of Type 2 Diabetes.
Another big plus of nurturing a support network is the motivation factor. It’s been shown time and again that you are more likely to succeed if you attempt to do something as part of a group. If you want to take up a hobby or get more active find a friend to go with you or join a group to gain extra support.
Speaking to other people about things that really matter to them, for example their families, their jobs, their worries or their dreams reminds us that we are all on our own journey and that it’s okay to not always be travelling in a straight line.
It’s okay to eat a whole pack of biscuits when you are trying to eat less sugar, it’s okay to worry about your kid going to a sleep over, lots of people are worried about paying for Christmas or concerned that their child is struggling at school.
These types of conversations reassure us that we are all human and all have problems, worries and hang ups.
They help us develop compassion and empathy, two of the most important character traits when it comes to nurturing relationships.
If you want to expand your own social circle or want to reach out to others, why not consider volunteering or simply doing something nice for someone?
Doing something nice for someone else, performing an act of kindness not only creates a sense of well-being and happiness for the person on the receiving end but also for the person who has performed the act in the first place.
Community spirit is created when people come together to share their ideas and resources for the benefit of everyone invovled.
It is the feeling of understanding, belonging and security that arises when we interact with our ‘neighbours.’ We can see this phenomenon when we get together to support our local football team, go to see a show put on by local actors or attend a nativity at our kids school.
These events are good for our health and wellbeing and surely it follows that the more we involve ourselves in our local community the more we benefit from the ‘feel good’ factor found in community events.
A friend of mine has often talked about ‘hygge’. (pronounced hoo-ga). It’s a term that’s becoming quite fashionable just now. Hygge is a word used in Norway and Denmark to describe a feeling of ‘togetherness, safety, equality, personal wholeness and social flow.’
The Oxford Dictionary defines Hygge as ‘a concept of creating cosy and convivial atmospheres that promote wellbeing.’
You can get a sense of hygge when cosied up at home with a good book and a hot chocolate but you can equally get the same feeling from spending quality time wit friends. For me, hygge is enjoying quality time with people I care about, if there is good food and drink around, even better.
If you want to get more involved with groups or projects locally or want to check out what new activities are available locally why not contact your local council for information.
At my practice we have a well-being advisor who can connect people with a range of non-clinical programmes, services and events in our local area, like walking groups, yoga, mindfulness, health cooking programmes and other activities. Why not check and see if your practice has a well-being advisor in place?
Work on your connections over the next few weeks and feel the benefits!
Laura ♥️
